A Stuttering Little Me 

Assalamualaikum and hi! 

To those who have known me since kindergarten, primary and secondary schooling days, most probably knew that I have speech problem. One minute I can speak  fluently even I would be surprised of myself and the next it is as if my own little stutter fiesta has started. 

I’ve had this problem since I was small, about 5 to 6 years old. I believe it was because I made fun of my neighbour who stuttered even worse than me but hey, I was a kid, you know how mean kids can be right? 

Since then, I’m stuck with my inability to pronounce certain words that starts with ‘tr.. ‘, ‘br.. ‘, ‘cr… ‘, ‘a… ‘, etc. It was and still is hard, especially when I have to interact with people from different positions. Presentations were always a big headache for me and talking to my teachers were like a big boulder that no matter how I try, I couldn’t cross it. 

I think my biggest worry is people making fun of me. A lot of them, even my close friends and relatives had done that hence opening up to someone new could take some time, a lot on some occasions. 

Surprisingly my stuttering would completely stop whenever I sing. Those troublesome ‘br… ‘ nor ‘tr… ‘ would miraculously disappear and I could even rap like a bullet train yalls, this happens only when I sing so, I’m guessing this has to do with my psychology. “But how am I supposed to trick myself into speaking fluently?”

I’ve asked that question A LOT of times and the answer slowly revealed itself to me. Despite having stuttering problems, I willed myself to speak longer during presentations, I tried on different activities which required me to talk. 

I didn’t succeed in everything. I broke down on the day of my sajak (poetry) competition because I couldn’t pronounce a word. I cried silently the day before my choral speaking competition because I couldn’t pronounce two words in my solo line. I felt as if my heart was ripped apart when a classmate of mine smirked when my mouth stuttered to pronounce something.

I know that despite how much I try, I’ll always have the fear of speaking in class, the fear if I want to participate in debates, the fear if I want to speak to new people. 

Somehow, those are the things that keeps me going. One day, I want to be able to be on a stage and talk to tens and thousands of people. I want to be able to talk freely with everyone. I want to be able to live my life the way I’ve always wanted it, without fear. 

One thing I’ve learned from being a stutterer with 13 years of experience is confidence is really really really important. How you walk, sit and carry yourself can tell a lot about you so don’t be sad if you stutter because you’ve got other important things to take care off. 

Impress people with the way you carry yourself and you’d automatically attract people’s attention. If you’re good in Maths or Chemistry, make that part of you shine brighter than anyone. Who cares if you stutter, you got people’s attention baby! Congrats!

If you really want to cure your stutter I would suggest seeing a speech therapist. Don’t ever GOOGLE “how to cure stutter?” or “ways to treat stuttering efficiently” because honey, it doesn’t help, at least not in the long run. 

Do what you love and live the life that you want. So that, when you had designed your life and you’re finally going to rest for eternity, you’ll be thankful of your achievements

Have a great day! *wink*


Painful Sightseeing Experience

I’m back at my crib you all, finally! 

It’s been very long since my last update. I’ve got loads to talk about but couldn’t find the time nor a peaceful place (I live with 9 other girls, enough said) to sit down and write. Since, I just got back sometime around evening, why not note down my days, right? 

So first things first, can I know who said diploma would be easier than foundation and A-levels? They are going to get it from me. I think the amount of workload is THE SAME and the amount of presentations that diploma kids have to do is mind boggling since we’re in it for the long run. 

Buuuuuut, I love all the subjects! I know sound so nerd here but i cannot help it. I’m taking Business Studies so there’s Accounting (super fun when you balance your account) and Management (all the organising and planning stuff) and 4 other subjects. 

Every evening I always take the bus from my poly so last Thursday, as usual, my friend and I took the bus but we were too late to press bell! And ended up going around Shah Alam. A ride which could’ve lasted for just 10 minutes became 2 hours! 
My friend and I were in panic mode. So we just went along with the bus driver, sightseeing Shah Alam. If I weren’t super tired, I would’ve enjoyed the ride but man, 8 hours of class can take a toll on you. I wanted to sleep in the bus but I couldn’t because I was wearing contact lens. 

We’ve all heard scary stories about contact lenses right, so me being me, didn’t sleep at all. To worsen the matter, my phone died on me 20 minutes into the journey. No phone, can’t sleep and I’m not about to scoop conversations to the aunties sitting next to me yall.

After 2 hrs of agony, I arrived home, all tired and sleepy and that was when I realised that I could’ve just got down at the next stop and take a taxi/grab instead of waiting 2 hrs for the bus to bring me back to my house *facepalm* *hides under the covers*. 

Moral of the story : Always stay rational. Don’t panic! 

Update on blogilates: I was too lazy to do day 6,7 & 8 so I skipped out on body workout and just did my arm. My arms are strong as a cucumber you guys *proudly flexing those biceps*. Meh, still looks the same. 

food · Life

Gordonia Ramsey in The Making

Guys! I made something today which was absolutely new and definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone. 

I cooked! 

Hahaha, I cooked chicken curry for the first time in my life! *blows nails*

When I wanted to sautè the onions, I called my mom. When I was about to let the oils break the surface of the curry, I called my mom. When I wanted to pour the coconut milk into the curry, I called my mom. I was on the phone throughout the entire process with her, checking if everything is alright and including my room mate, Diana who stayed beside me to make THE awesome curry (she bullied me to include her name T.T) 

I mean, come on, when you’re about to cook for 6 people for the FIRST time, you HAVE to consult your mom, people. 

Since it was my first time, I have to admit that the curry was a bit thick and a tad tasteless (the taste was there but there wasn’t enough oomph!). My housemates are such dears because they complimented my ‘bland-but-there’s-taste’ curry *hugs and kisses*.

Man, it’s so tiring. How can moms cook everyday and never complain about it??? How??? 

food · Life


Assalamualaikum and hi! 

There’s a reason why I didn’t post Blogilates Day 2, 3 & 4 because…I didn’t do it. Kidding! I did do my exercises but it was too boring to document it so I’ll post about my trip to Ikea’s cafeteria. 


I’ve never had Ikea’s meatballs before which have been tasted by almost all the people that I’ve met and they pretty much raved about those oh-so-mouthwatering meatballs. 

And, it was mouthwatering indeed. Originally it was supposed to be a simple Raya open house and a quick trip to MyTown and Ikea but things escalated pretty quickly so we ended up having lunch at two places; at open house and Ikea. 

After tasting their heavenly meatballs with their thick gravy and mash potatoes and jam (honestly, I don’t get this. Jam? With meatballs?), I finally knew why do people love them SOOO MUCH because that was THE BEST meatballs that I’ve ever tasted in my life, not exaggerating at all. Then we ordered their chicken wings too! It was DELICIOUS too! Is there anything that’s not delicious in Ikea? 
Even the drinks were pretty nice. 

All in all, it was a pleasant memory to be out with friends and share our times eating and laughing. 

Now, I’m sitting in my politeknik’s cafeteria writing this and in an hour my class will commence. Back to reality I guess. Have a great week guys! 
*p.s. I actually took a lot of pictures but I deleted it (how clever).


Blogilates’ Day 1: “I Feel Like Dying”

I feel like dying! 

After days of scarfing down mutton kurma, friend chickens, mutton curry and loads of raya biscuits, I came to a conclusion. As each day passed, I felt more sluggish. Too lazy to do EVERYTHING; brushing teeth, showering, putting on clothes etc. I just wanted to sleep my days off and wake up and eat and sleep again. 

After contemplating long and hard, I decided that enough is enough (not on the food part, of course). I cannot be THIS lazy, so today I made a bold move to finally lock myself in my room…and…EXERCISE! HAHA. 

Yes, I did that *proud of myself*, *patting myself in the back*. Since it will be downright weird to do burpees/squats in the living room, I did it in my room and guess what?! 


Cassie (the instructor/trainer/founder [what do you call her?] of Blogilates) is probably one of the most motivating person that I had come across in social media. She was all “GO! GO! I know you can do it! Little more! In 5,4,3,2,1 Done!” while I was cursing her for making my thighs and lungs burn so bad but in the end, we came through.

She thanked me and said that she was proud of me, “Look at you guys! Give yourselves a huge applause for making it until the end!” *totally directed that at me*. 

Although it was fun, the process felt like D.Y.I.N.G. Especially when I’m done with squats then I have to use the same muscles to do butt kick, it was hard okay, hard. But it was definitely worth the pain because I felt super replenished at the end. 

Since I was too motivated, I tried the arms exercise too and my arms went jelly 2 minutes into the video. All my life, I’ve never done any arm specified exercise and doing it just now felt as if my arms were being ripped apart. Ended up, I cursed myself too for being too enthusiastic (Cassie and her bubbly spirit is really addictive) but it’s all good now, I love myself again. 

I’m writing this after my mini workout session. Could totally feel my biceps now. Chugged down tonnes of water and my stomach feels bloated again but it’s okay, I’ll exercise again after this -> said no one ever. Meet up with Cassie once a day is enough for now, tata. 


Vivy Sofea in The Making

Assalamualaikum and hi! 

It’s Raya already! How time flies. It feels like just yesterday we welcomed Ramadan and now it’s Syawal! Super blessed to have my family members around. 

This Raya, we celebrated Eid with my mom’s side and it was FANTASTIC! We started cooking yesterday and it was not your typical ‘rendang and lemang’. Since we’re Indian Muslims, we always do it in a very Indian-ish way; Idiyapam (putu piring without the brown sugar), meat kurma, chicken gravy, fried chicken. Lemang and rendang is like a side dish to us, ha ha. 

Here’s the best part (for me at least), my first baju raya (raya attire) was super gorgeous guys, I felt like crying *teary-eyed* because I didn’t have much time to select my baju kurung due to late start in Raya holiday. My mom and I went to Times Square to scout for baju raya yesterday and honestly I’m quite pleased with my choice! Soft pink button blouse tucked into floral kembang (please Google kembang in English, too lazy to translate) skirt

I was called Vivy Sofea okay? *flips tudung*.

This is not the super gorgeous attire guys. That ‘super gorgeous attire’ cannot be shown because I had no photographer on the first Eid *crying*. This is the 2nd Syawal outfit. [Tudung : Naelofar Hijab. Baju kurung : Unknown shop] 

Have a great and blessed Eid, guys! 

I wrote this post 2 days ago but was super busy (eating) that I forgot to upload until today. I know its late but have a wonderful Eid filled with delicious food! 


Final Days

Assalamualaikum and hi! 

We’re already on the final days of Ramadan! Time do fly really fast. I feel like just last week, I was excited for Ramadan to come, couldn’t wait for the ambience of the month and the bazaar food but in a few days, Ramadan will close its curtains.

I do admit that I’ve missed a huge chunk of Ramadan, what’s with moving into my new house, new environment, trying to adapt to the surrounding and new studying place to the point where I feel guilty everytime I put down the sejadah (praying mat) to pray. 

I really hope that during these last few days, I can fully focus on my ibadah, increase my good deeds and ask for everything that I want this coming year from Allah, Ameen.

My politeknik life is really goooooood! Haha, my classmates aren’t snooby which is really great. My housemates are super crazy, we have shared everything (almost) and it’s only the second week. As much as I wanted matriculation before coming here, I’m grateful now *glistening tears*.

While I’m writing this, there is a huge lizard and a small one, probably the kid in my balcony and the door is opened wide, someone help me! *stealthily closing the door*.


On Hunger Strike

Assalamualaikum and hi! 

I’ve safely settled into my new rental house, woo hoo! 

Alhamdulillah all my housemates are CRAZY so, it doesn’t feel awkward and we could carry on pretty decent conversations. 

And also the view from my condo is FANTASTIC. There’s a pool too! 

There’s a gym too! And sauna too! And mini market too! 

But there’s no stove in the house and I was such a dumb bimbo yesterday that I forgot to buy Maggi (instant noodles) so I ate biscuit for dinner. If it’s like this, I can be thin without working out and my skeletons would probably stick out. 

Alhamdulillah, I had biscuit, or else my stomach would have gone ‘kruk kruk’ the whole night. 

* now I know how hard is it to make a budget and how easy cash flows from your hands. Literally spent 30+ on food only T.T


Pilates: Thigh on Fire

Assalamualaikum and hi! 

In ‘My Resolution’, I wrote the ten things that I want to do before 2018. One of them is exercise by watching Blogilates’ videos for a week and I thought, it’s just a week, no big deal. 

I regretted my decision after a couple of days of hamstring ache. It was last week, the week before Ramadhan, I was inspired and motivated. I was thinking, “I could really follow Cassie because come on it’s easy. Better than running!”.

Running. Is. Better because my thighs almost gave up during half squat after 8 minutes of pilates. For those of you who don’t know what I’m rambling about, Cassie Ho has a youtube account called Blogilates in which she teaches pop pilates to us, the lazy souls who can’t be bothered to wake up every morning just for a quick jog. She’s very successful in what she’s doing, she even has a clothing line! So do check her out for some useful tips on health and diet. 

I bet, everyone who sees her videos would be pumping up with adrenaline and motivation. You’d go, “Yes, Cassie! I can do this! I’ll get my yoga mat and off we go!”. I was one of those ‘everyone’ and ha ha, if I wasn’t determined enough, I probably would’ve laughed at myself. Me? Exercise? Yeah, no thanks. 

Since I don’t own a yoga mat, I used my towel and locked myself in my room for 8 minutes. The first 2 minutes was a bliss. I felt my abs getting stronger and I was sweating buckets trying to follow her steps. It felt good but the happiness was shortlived. 

That’s when the agony began. The rest of the video was just me trying my very best to pause when she pauses but failing miserably because I kept resting every 5 seconds. In the end, I did manage to follow along. 

I’d say it was the best 8 minutes of my life. The exercise was great! My abs was screaming and my legs were shaking doing all the lunges and half squats and tsunami (the names ‘_’) but it was fun! 

Really recommend it to those who despise running. I didn’t manage to meet my goals yet; exercise for a week because it’s Ramadhan, you know (1001 excuses to not go back to Cassie) but I’ll definitely try after Eid, gotta lose that extra kilos of beef rendang and kari ayam. 


Mask Unlocked: Didn’t Burn My Face

I LOVE masks, all kinds of masks; peel off ones, wash off ones, scrub masks, cooling ones, etc. 

Since it’s been ages since my last mask, I decided to try on the Huxley Scrub Mask: Sweet Therapy (it was sweet indeed) because I know I’d be busy and exhausted after this. 

I wasn’t expecting my spots to be gone completely or sudden brightening effects, just wanted to finish it off as it was a ‘one time use’ mask. 

I was genuinely surprised when I applied it onto my skin (by the way, it’s a wash off mask). It was super warm. I almost considered to wash off my mask right there and then because out of all the masks that I’ve ever worn this was the only mask that heated up.

I was going nuts,people. 

“Why is this hot?”

“Other ones not hot at all” (I’ve used 2 other ones and it behaved just like any mask would). 

“My skin is burning!” (Such a drama queen, I was fine. My skin is probably thanking me). 

Despite all the red alarm that my brain was throwing at me, I left the mask on for about half an hour because my heart said so (that sounded way better in my head, not cliché at all). 

I’m more of a ‘follow my feeling’ kind of person instead of ‘rational thoughts’ so I packed my bag for politeknik and cleaned my room while the mask was heating up my face. It was not hot at all, just gave off a warm sensation as if drinking a cup of hot chocolate on a rainy day, you know the warm and fuzzy feeling? Yeah, sort of like that. 

Since it was a scrub mask, it acted as an exfoliator as well because my face felt like baby’s butt after I washed it off, super soft! My honest review: if it wasn’t super expensive, I would’ve bought truckloads of this mask. I mean RM148.00 for a mask is…not okay. 

Of course, the rational side of me came into play this morning and I googled “Why does face masks heat up upon application?” (complete with question mark and all, felt like grammar nazi at that moment). 

“Self-heating masks are essential to open pores and activate blood circulation,” Fallas explains. If you suffer from blemishes, clogged pores, or oil overproduction, the enhanced pore-opening, blood flow–boosting action is perfect for you—and it enables the other ingredients in the treatment, like oil-absorbing kaolin (which is in both formulations), to work deeper within the skin to absorb impurities and debris. – Edward Fallas of Somme Institute. 

You can read the the rest of the article here:

My face has been the smoothest it has ever been since teenage years filled with hormonal hormones so I think, it is worth the money (if you are willing to splurge).